60-Day Reset For Caregivers

Caregiver Tips & Hacks, Motivation & Inspiration, Self-Care

Hi caregiver! How are you feeling?

Do any of these responses resonate with you?

Kinda “meh”
I’m in a funk
I think I’m hormonal
I don’t feel like myself
Blah
No energy/just tired
In a rut
Stressed/irritated
Anxious/overwhelmed
I feel foggy and can’t concentrate

If you are a caregiver…and WERE A CAREGIVER THROUGH THE PANDEMIC, then you most likely have had many of these feelings. The last thing you probably want to think about is a program that is going to require more of your time and energy, right?

I get it. Just hear me out because I can relate. I want to share my story to explain my motivation for creating a self-care program. I know many of you have stories, some of them very painful. I hope you are at the point that you are ready to give yourself grace and compassion. Here is my story in a nutshell…

About 2 ½ years ago my life got crazy and turned upside down. I owned and operated a 6-bed residential assisted living facility where I cared for 6 seniors, aged 70 to 108. The covid pandemic was a stressful time for healthcare workers, as you know. The pressure was on me and my staff to keep the residents safe from Covid. The State was tough on us with heavy regulations and inspections. The PPE (gowns, masks, etc.) were a regular part of the uniform for 3 years. I had staffing shortages and was frequently called in for shifts, day and night. Having to set “no visitation” policies with families was stressful for everyone involved. Emotions ran high and there was a high caregiver burnout rate. Every part of my body was tired or sore.

Then, my daughter, 19 at the time, became very ill. It was scary and we didn’t know what was going on. Her physical and mental health were crashing. We spent months trying to find a diagnosis and I agonized over trying to find enough coverage at my ALF so I could be with my daughter for her appointments. After much testing, we found out she has chronic neurological Lyme disease, and she is undergoing an extensive treatment program.

Within that same time frame, my husband had a heart attack during a paddleboard race! I couldn’t believe it. He is ok, but that added another layer of worry and stress to our family.

I lost three people to Covid, all in their 50s…young. One of them was a family member and another was a friend who was like a sister to me.

To add to the chaos, my bestie of almost 40 years was going through a traumatic experience with the loss of her mother to cancer and a painful divorce.

I felt like I was spiraling out of control. I wasn’t taking care of myself. I was stressed, reactive, angry, sad, ate too much, drank too much, and said the “F” word way too much.

Then a friend mentioned a program that her son did called 75Hard. Have you heard of it? It’s pretty intense… more of a mental toughness program than a physical toughness one. It seemed too rigid for me at first because it has a lot of structure. I thought, “how the hell am I going to fit in a healthy diet, read, exercise twice a day, drink a gallon of water, avoid sweets and alcohol, etc., in the middle of all this stress and chaos?

BUT… I did it. It super sucked and it was amazing all at the same time. It was 75 days of carefully thought-out tasks. I was shocked that I pulled it off! Looking back, the only thing I can say is that it gave me something I could control when I felt like I had no control. It improved my physical health and my mental health. My whole mindset shifted. I felt like I could take on whatever was necessary so that I could help my daughter and take care of my residents through the pandemic!

I want this for you too. I want you to feel better and care for yourself better.

I decided to create my own program, a reset. It’s not as intense as the 75Hard, but it involves some discipline. I won’t say it is easy, but it will help you feel better, mentally and physically. The concepts are not difficult. I added tips and strategies that worked for me. I will personally be doing this program 1-2 times a year. My goal is to help caregivers take care of themselves. How can we serve others if our mental and physical health are suffering? This program is just a portion of the many things you can do to care for yourself. I am confident that you will experience a feeling of confidence, control, and pride as a result of spending this time focusing on “you”. I am still on my journey to optimal health and am continuing to work on resetting my mindset and my nervous system after 3 years of high stress. This program was a great kick start for me and I hope it will be for you as well.

PILLARS:

This program will follow six pillars that I have found to be instrumental in my journey toward optimal health. Each task will fall under one of these pillars:

Health ♥ Home ♥ Hustle ♥ Homies ♥ Happiness ♥ Help others

60-Day Reset for Caregivers

Preparation:

There will be daily, weekly, and a couple monthly tasks. None of these tasks are difficult but require some thought and discipline.

Find a cozy spot in your home that you can use to do your reading (or meditation or journaling). It can be in the living room, corner of the couch, a favorite comfy chair, wherever you can have some peace and quiet for 20-30 minutes. Have a lap blanket, maybe a side table for your coffee or a candle, and a hard surface if you need one to journal. Make it warm and inviting for you because you will enjoy this space every day for the next 60 days.
Either purchase or borrow some books for your reading. Choose books that will grow you in some way, non-fiction personal growth-type books. I am adding a list of books that I read and enjoyed, but you should find what works for you.
You may want to have some earbuds to listen to your weekly podcasts. You can download a podcast app on your phone for free.
Have some comfy shoes for walking/exercise.
Find a good water bottle that makes you happy. You will drink 64 oz of water per day. You can find cool water bottles online that have marks on them to track your drinking. I bought a 64 oz bottle so that I only had to fill it once each day. If you have a smaller bottle you will need a method to track your consumption. You can find hydration tracker beads on Amazon or Etsy, or just use rubber bands/hairbands around the base of the bottle and slide them up after each refill.
If you can, buy a candle or two. Burning a candle while you are reading is very soothing.
You will want to schedule your tasks to stay organized and not miss anything. For this, you should have a planner or use your phone to track the completion of each task.
For food shopping and meal planning, I kept things uncomplicated. No counting calories or macros, etc., BUT you should plan and purchase healthy foods before you start. Suggestions include purchasing:

- Fresh fruits and veggies, preferably organic
- Lemons for your a.m. lemon water
- Apple cider vinegar
- Foods with protein: lean meats, cottage cheese, protein powder (low sugar), nuts, seeds (like pumpkin seeds, chia seeds, flax), lentils/beans, eggs, nut butters like almond butter, tempeh, tofu. Remove crap foods from your house…chips, sweets, soda, alcohol, cookies (even the fat-free, sugar-free ones) …. you know what they are. Fyi…I learned that the protein from eggs has a high % of it’s protein that gets used by the body, more so than meat and dairy.
- If you are able, buy organic and grass-fed food items

Have an empty bin or basket in your garage or a closet where you can collect items for donation.

Ok, ready? Let’s do this!! Get your planner out the night before (or sooner) and make out a schedule of where you will fit everything into your day. Prep whatever you can the day before. This could be preparing healthy snack and meal options, filling your water bottle, setting out your book, setting up the coffee pot, putting your workout clothes out where you can see them, etc. In other words, set yourself up for success.

Daily tasks:

Upon wakening, before you scroll on your phone, state to yourself at least one positive affirmation or a statement of gratitude for the day. (i.e. “I am healthy and strong”’ “I can problem solve any challenge that the day brings me.”) If you miss it then be sure to at least give yourself a “high five” in the mirror and do your affirmations later. I taped about 7 post-it notes with affirmations on them to my bathroom mirror to remind me. I will attach a list of samples you can use and refer you to the Mel Robbins concept of the “high five habit”. (Happiness Pillar)
Before coffee or eating in the a.m., drink a cup of lemon water, hot or cold. I drink about 8 oz and squeeze half a lemon in it. (Health Pillar)
Make your bed every day. Science says making your bed every morning is correlated with better productivity and a greater sense of well-being.
Read at least 10 pages of a book (personal growth, non-fiction, business book, devotional, Bible, and/or write in a journal for at least 10 minutes. If you like to mediate, use this morning time block to meditate. Try out your “cozy spot”. I will attach a list of some of my favorite personal growth books (Hustle and Health Pillars)
At least 30 minutes of exercise. It can be a brisk walk, gym workout, yoga, hike, cycle, or whatever you prefer. Your choice, but do not miss a day. Make this a habit. During the program I did, I got up early each morning to get a walk in, at a minimum. Side note: Research shows the importance of lifting weights as we hit middle age. I will attach some free YouTube exercise channels that I have enjoyed. (Health Pillar)
Drink 64 oz of water daily. Don’t add anything sugary to it but you can use mint, lemon, lime, etc., if you prefer some flavoring. If you like to add electrolyte packets, be cautious of sugar. I enjoy adding LMNT electrolytes to my water because they don’t have a bunch of crap in them. There are many similar products available that you may prefer.
Wash your face and remove your make-up EVERY night. Use lotion or moisturizer on your skin. Coconut oil (unrefined, cold pressed) is a great make-up remover. (Health Pillar)
Connect with at least one person daily. Try to not make it be the same person every day, lol! This means reach out to a friend or family via text, call, email, or a card/letter. Just reach out to say “hello, thinking of you.” You can send a funny meme or tell someone to have a great day. You can do a voice text to make it more personal. A call is even better but phone conversations seem to be harder to come by these days. (Homies and Help Others Pillars)
No alcohol, junk food, fried food, or sugary treats. Avoid sugary creamer and sugar in coffee and try just a milk or nut milk. If you need sweetener, try monk fruit or raw stevia. If you like your cocktails or your desserts, this could be challenging. It gets easier after a couple weeks. Try some NA beverages, kombucha, or club soda and lime to scratch the itch. You can try a low sugar yogurt with berries or a piece of fruit, like banana and peanut butter, to help satisfy sugar cravings (Health Pillar).
Take a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar (ACV) once a day, preferably before a meal. There are many health benefits of ACV, one being that it helps stabilize blood sugars if you have it right before or after a meal. You can dilute it with water or pour it on your salad!
Eat some protein with every snack or meal. Most of us don’t get enough protein. Try to consume 20-30 grams of protein with each meal. (Health Pillar)
Stop eating 2 hours before bed. (Health Pillar)
Each day, remove at least one item from your home. Cluttered homes equal cluttered minds. Clearing the “stuff” is very therapeutic. It can be something that can be thrown away or something to donate. Have the donation basket easy to access so you can toss something daily. A coffee mug, book, the 5^th pair of scissors you don’t need, or an old t-shirt. (Home Pillar)
Have a calming soothing drink in the evening. Hot tea, golden milk latte. Make sure your tea is decaffeinated, like a nice chamomile or decaf green tea. I had to move my tea drink a little earlier in the afternoon because it kept me up peeing all night!

Weekly tasks

Listen to a podcast. It can be any topic of interest. If you get a podcast app on your phone, you can put any topic of interest in the search bar and it will pull up different podcasts on that subject. They are very interesting and therapeutic. I listen to podcasts daily but you can start with weekly to get into the groove and see if you like them. I listen during walks or even during housework. Topics for podcasts examples: relationships, how to get over breakups, religion, personal growth, health and wellness, hormones and menopause, start your own business, manifesting, meditation, etc. I will include a list of some of my fave podcasts. (Health and Hustle Pillar)
Grounding. Research shows that touching the earth with your bare feet can be beneficial to our health. Science shows that the electrical charges from the earth have positive effects on the body. Go outside and stand or lay in the grass or go walk the beach or swim in the ocean. Do this for at least 20-30 minutes each week, daily if you can make time. (Health Pillar)

Monthly tasks

Do something nice that you don’t normally do for yourself. Get a manicure or pedicure, massage, bubble bath, a new haircut or color, buy a new outfit, or buy flowers for the house. (Health Pillar)
Act of kindness. Make a point of doing something for someone else. It can be a donation to charity or supplies for school classroom, volunteer somewhere, make an extra phone call to someone in need, send someone a text or email of encouragement, give a homeless person a meal or some cash (with no judgement about how they will use the money), buy someone in line a coffee. It doesn’t matter how big or small. It can even be as simple as opening a door for someone or returning some grocery carts to the store. Special request: If you donate to a GoFundMe or charity, do it anonymously; not for recognition and only to do good in the world. (Help Others Pillar)
Organize one section, area, or room of your house. It can be a junk drawer, sock drawer, pantry, refrigerator, linen closet, laundry room, etc. Spend time decluttering the area and make it clean and orderly. (Home Pillar)

This may seem like a lot of tasks, but I promise that you will feel like a new version of yourself in 60 days! Most of these tasks do not take a lot of time but more so take routine and discipline. I found that going to bed earlier and getting up earlier gave me the extra morning time to check off some of the tasks on my list. The great thing is that some of these tasks might turn into healthy habits that you choose to keep. The “no alcohol and no junk food” are game changers in your health and you will feel it in the first week. Do your best to stay on track and schedule in all your tasks each day! You can ABSOLUTELY do this. You do so much to care for others and now it’s time to care for yourself. You’ve got this!

Thank you for your caregiver heart,

Love,

Heather

Abbreviated Task check-off list

Daily tasks:

Upon wakening, state at least one positive affirmation or a statement of gratitude for the day.
Before drinking coffee or eating in the a.m., drink a cup of lemon water.
Make your bed every day.
Read 10 pages of a book, journal, or meditate.
Complete at least 30 minutes of exercise.
Drink at least 64 oz of water daily.
Wash your face and remove your make-up every night.
Connect with at least one person daily.
No alcohol, junk food, fried food, or sugary treats.
Take one tablespoon of apple cider vinegar per day.
Eat protein with every snack or meal.
Stop eating 2 hours before bed.
Donate or toss at least one item from your home.
Drink a calming afternoon/evening drink.